Logan John Kluge.  What a strong name for a boy who I know will have a strong heart.  You may not have originally been a part of the plan, but I am so excited about you.  Your big sister wants to name you Pickle.  What do you think about that?  Kai and Helen talk about you all the time, and talk to you.  They like to give you hugs--which means I get a hug too!  Win-win!  I love you so much already little dude.  I know you will turn our world upside down.  And allow mama to have cuddles, and sweet little ones for that much longer.

Your mama asked God a long time ago if she could be blessed by having you all.  I thought God had other plans for us.  When Helen came along, your great Nanny said, you might have many more children!”  I thought then…”Nanny I am 38 years old!  How is that even possible?”  Little did I know that she was speaking a promise from God...I am so proud of my little crew.    Your dada has been calling me Sarah--she had to wait and wait for God’s promise to be fulfilled in her life through Isaac.  I didn’t have to wait quite as long, but can’t believe how God has blessed me not only with my beautiful Helen, but with my creative Kai, and now you!  I can’t wait to see how God uses you to fulfill his purpose!  And to enrich our family!

I was in such shock when I realized I was pregnant with you.  But when  I listened again to a song that I love called Beautiful Things, I realized that God would give me the strength to have you, and raise you. God is making you, and what God creates is beautiful.  Although I don’t think the whole song applies to the situation I heard this:

You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around,
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found, in you

I knew that you are beautiful, and you are created by God.  Out of chaos life is being found--you are precious, and so beautiful and so WANTED.  Your dad and I can hardly wait for your arrival.

God’s plan was confirmed when I read the following verse not long after I found out about you.

Psalm 138:8

The Lord will complete what his purpose is for me.

   Lord, your gracious love is eternal;

       do not abandon your personal work in me

God isn’t finished with us yet!  You are part of the plan, and part of God’s glorious work.  You are now part of Team Kluge!  Strong alone, unstoppable together!!!

Always Remember your mama loves you and will  always love you--

I wrote this when Kai was seven months old and for some reason didn't publish it...

Kai.  Can there be another name so sweet?  You are so precious.  It has been seven months since you arrived, and our family can no longer imagine life without you.  Helen is your best friend.  She constantly watches out for you, and when she hears you cry she says, “Kai’s sad!” and starts running to try and make you happy.  You are laughing these days, and are starting to be interested in every toy and everything around you.  You aren’t crawling yet, but you definitely figure out how to get around to the place you want, and cry when I don’t let you have the toy that you want.  You will be mad one day when I say this, but you are just like your dad.  Everything you do reminds me of him.  I pray you have his heart.  I picture your dada’s heart being one like David, who God said was a man after his own heart.

I can’t believe how God has blessed with me two happy and healthy children.  You and our family are now my priority.  I am willing to give all of it up for you.  God bless us and protect us.  Help us to remember that it is more important to be together and to know you than it is to have material things.  Thank you for our beautiful family.  Dear God,  You amaze me with the life you have given us.

The Man I Love

Sweet Helen and Kai,

Do you know what love looks like?  Many will tell you it is a warm fuzzy feeling or maybe an electric shock that happens between certain people.  The problem with this is that feelings are fleeting.

When I look at your dad, I see love.  I see commitment to his family, and service even when he doesn't necessarily feel like it or enjoy it.

I see a man who helps me clean the floors and toilets because he knows how much I love hosting people in our home.

I see a man who does laundry and gives you baths, and swings you up in the air wanting to share his joy of winning the super bowl with the people he loves.

I see a man who even though he can be critical, holds his comments to himself when he sees his wife crying.

I see a man who hates to work, but strives always to be better and work hard so that he can fulfill the dreams he has for our family.

I see a man who tries to be healthy so that he can be with us for as long as God wills.

I see a man who loves God, and whose biggest desire is that his children may know this God as well.

Your dad is not perfect, and we have hard days.  But he is the man I have chosen to love and will continue to love.  your dad is loyal and committed, and chooses to serve us as we also choose to serve him, and lift him up.

I pray that you, my sweet children, learn what it means to love.  Your father and I are broken, and we will not show you perfect love everyday, but we strive to point you to the God who can, and who tells us that real love is washing feet; the feelings that are sometimes there are the dessert, not the main course.

Mama loves you, and will always love you.  I thank God for you.  You and and your dad have my heart;  may God bless our home.


Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:16-17

Kai you are here!

Dear little boy you are so sweet.  I love to just stare at you when you peacefully sleep.  You are now six weeks old.  Your poor mama has to go back to work and misses you so much.  There is not enough time in the day to love you.  We had some pics taken of you at the hospital when you were 24 hours old.

Helen you are so fun!

Helen we had so much fun spending every moment with you during spring break.  Your little personality is blossoming and I just love to hear you talk, and say, "wats dat?" about everything you see.  I can't believe you are 15 months old.

 Here you are at 14 months.  You love baby girl Eva and Percy.  You want to be with them all the time.  You adore animals of any kind.

  We went to the zoo over spring break with our friends Jenn, Eden and Micah.  You had so much fun, and got to even walk around a lot.  You thought the Giraffes were funny and said "wow" a lot.:)

Here you are ready for church sitting in a big person chair.  you are growing up so fast.  You even stayed in the nursery by yourself and momma got to attend the service.  This was the first time in a very long time.  She is so proud of you!

Here you are in your pajamas from aunt jeremie, and Uncle Kevin.  Anytime we say, "Oh my goodness!" you put your hands on your head and shake it like you think momma and dada must be crazy!  We love you sweet girl, and can't believe you are growing up so quickly.  You are no longer baby Helen.  You are getting to be a big girl who is going to be a big sister any day now.  Momma and dada love you so much!  You amaze us every day and make us smile even after a night of teething when none of us got any sleep.....molars are your thing right now.  I know even you will be glad when all those teeth finally arrive. never forget how special you are to us and how beautiful you are in every way.

showers, Kai and celebrations!

So Kai, I figure you will be here any day now.  I can't wait to see you face to face.  I love you already, and hope maybe we can go to the hospital today!  Nana wants us to wait until Friday because she wants to share a birthday with you, but you do want you want.  You are your own man.:)  Lots of our friends and family are excited about you coming too!  They have been "showering" us with lots of wonderful things.
First we had a celebration with the mothers of your future friends.  I knew them in college, and/or play music with them.  It was a celebration for Miss Laura too who is having  baby Claire who will be just the same age as you.  Here are the moms!

Helen was there too!  She got a little brother Kai doll from Julia (just behind her) as well as a big sister t-shirt that she will wear at the hospital.  She had so much fun, and is going to be so excited to see you soon too!

 Our best friends, and friends from church also wanted to show you how excited they were that you are coming!  Here is a picture from Jenn that we are going to put on your and Helen's wall.  The Elephant represents Helen, and the monkey with the bronco's bow tie is for you!  She had it designed especially for both of you!  We love it so much!


We are so blessed to be surrounded with such great friends and family.  I can't wait for you to meet them all!   momma and dada love you so much!  Can't wait until I can place your little chest next to mine, and hug you with my arms.  See you soon!

Your father thinks I see the world through rose colored glasses.  He may be right, but I hope that you both see the beauty that exists in this world despite the pain.  I came across this TED talk today. I think is really inspiring.  You have to listen to it to the end. 

Love you Helen and Kai.  Forever and always.