I wrote this when Kai was seven months old and for some reason didn't publish it...

Kai.  Can there be another name so sweet?  You are so precious.  It has been seven months since you arrived, and our family can no longer imagine life without you.  Helen is your best friend.  She constantly watches out for you, and when she hears you cry she says, “Kai’s sad!” and starts running to try and make you happy.  You are laughing these days, and are starting to be interested in every toy and everything around you.  You aren’t crawling yet, but you definitely figure out how to get around to the place you want, and cry when I don’t let you have the toy that you want.  You will be mad one day when I say this, but you are just like your dad.  Everything you do reminds me of him.  I pray you have his heart.  I picture your dada’s heart being one like David, who God said was a man after his own heart.

I can’t believe how God has blessed with me two happy and healthy children.  You and our family are now my priority.  I am willing to give all of it up for you.  God bless us and protect us.  Help us to remember that it is more important to be together and to know you than it is to have material things.  Thank you for our beautiful family.  Dear God,  You amaze me with the life you have given us.

The Man I Love

Sweet Helen and Kai,

Do you know what love looks like?  Many will tell you it is a warm fuzzy feeling or maybe an electric shock that happens between certain people.  The problem with this is that feelings are fleeting.

When I look at your dad, I see love.  I see commitment to his family, and service even when he doesn't necessarily feel like it or enjoy it.

I see a man who helps me clean the floors and toilets because he knows how much I love hosting people in our home.

I see a man who does laundry and gives you baths, and swings you up in the air wanting to share his joy of winning the super bowl with the people he loves.

I see a man who even though he can be critical, holds his comments to himself when he sees his wife crying.

I see a man who hates to work, but strives always to be better and work hard so that he can fulfill the dreams he has for our family.

I see a man who tries to be healthy so that he can be with us for as long as God wills.

I see a man who loves God, and whose biggest desire is that his children may know this God as well.

Your dad is not perfect, and we have hard days.  But he is the man I have chosen to love and will continue to love.  your dad is loyal and committed, and chooses to serve us as we also choose to serve him, and lift him up.

I pray that you, my sweet children, learn what it means to love.  Your father and I are broken, and we will not show you perfect love everyday, but we strive to point you to the God who can, and who tells us that real love is washing feet; the feelings that are sometimes there are the dessert, not the main course.

Mama loves you, and will always love you.  I thank God for you.  You and and your dad have my heart;  may God bless our home.


Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:16-17